god, my life has been so volatile lately
i guess it's just that certain people make me burst with sunshine while others just make me want to fucking burst.
i guess it's just that i worry too much about the well-being and happiness of others and ignore myself
i guess it's just that honesty isn't always the best policy if you're looking for personal gratification
i love being a bleeding heart. i love taking care of people, looking out for them, doing them favors and what not.
but i don't love the repurcussions of that. i'm always broke, i'm always stressed.
i know karma will be good to me, i just wish i knew when that day would come so i could clear my head and maybe sleep for once
Friday, May 29, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
waluigi
i'm writing this with absolutley no intentions of having any readers or to be flashy in any sort of skewed definition of the word, it's just 3:29 a.m. on one of those shitty sunday mornings (you know the type) and, as usual, i can't sleep! generally it isn't a problem to keep my always-concious-ass entertained on weekends, however the pimp mobile is currently sporting two new flat tires and i'm stranded. (far more lame than it sounds) YAY GRANDVILLE! not to mention, i haven't been home since wednesday and i'm totally out of clean clothes. damnit, laundry.
on a completley unrelated note, i've been thinking alot about learning lately, and about how i should totally do some of that soon. however, being slightly indecisive about where i wanna spend the next 4-6 years of my life, i just cannot seem to even see the tip of a decision coming forth on the horizon. good god damn! i wanna visit a campus and become instantly enamored and morph into one of those friends you have from highschool that obnoxiously drones on and on about how much they love their school. if i'm paying $50,000 to wear some colors, i wanna look damn good in them, ya dig?
not to mention, i'm still not 100% on whether or not higher education is for me. (where the fuck is micheal jordan to convince me to stay in school?) to be totally honest with you, i'd give my right arm to be a helicopter pilot, and really the only logic that's holding me back is the most inane, shallow thought ever birthed in my ever-pregnant mind--"but i don't wanna cut my hair!". in order to achieve their dreams, people do horrible, immoral, unimaginable things. they sacrifice a bit of their soul and/or their sanity to obtain the life they fantasize about. i, however, could easily have the career and lifestyle of my choice for the petty price of shoulder length hair....i remain unconvinced.
that's (sh)it, i guess.
on a completley unrelated note, i've been thinking alot about learning lately, and about how i should totally do some of that soon. however, being slightly indecisive about where i wanna spend the next 4-6 years of my life, i just cannot seem to even see the tip of a decision coming forth on the horizon. good god damn! i wanna visit a campus and become instantly enamored and morph into one of those friends you have from highschool that obnoxiously drones on and on about how much they love their school. if i'm paying $50,000 to wear some colors, i wanna look damn good in them, ya dig?
not to mention, i'm still not 100% on whether or not higher education is for me. (where the fuck is micheal jordan to convince me to stay in school?) to be totally honest with you, i'd give my right arm to be a helicopter pilot, and really the only logic that's holding me back is the most inane, shallow thought ever birthed in my ever-pregnant mind--"but i don't wanna cut my hair!". in order to achieve their dreams, people do horrible, immoral, unimaginable things. they sacrifice a bit of their soul and/or their sanity to obtain the life they fantasize about. i, however, could easily have the career and lifestyle of my choice for the petty price of shoulder length hair....i remain unconvinced.
that's (sh)it, i guess.
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